Thursday, December 13, 2012


"So these are your treatment options..." I choke back a sob and let my voice trail off. How do I present a 30 year old mother of 5 with the fact that we've already done all we can do? "...I will support you, whatever you choose." I turn so she doesn't see me blink back the tears.

"For me, I would like to choose life." The words are steady, certain. "My children are still so young. I would like to live."

I choke with all the times I have taken this breath in my lungs for granted. The tears burn hot but I try not to let them fall. Not yet. Its not over yet. Yes, dear friend, oh yes, how I want you to live.

There are days we stare death in the face around here. Sometimes the right diet and medication just isn't enough and the heart pumps too hard and the chest heaves for breath and we see it coming. Other times we blink and a life is gone. Sometimes friends cling tightly to life and are given a miraculous second chance. Other times they cling to my hand as I whisper that Jesus is right on the other side and they slip away to be with Him. I feel it coming, but I don't want to. I watch her smile at her children and I can't help but hope. I know the God who works miracles, the One who calls things that are not as though they were. I know Him, and I can't help but ask it, "Oh Lord, might she live?"



I think of a few men carrying their paralyzed friend on a mat, desperate to lay him at the feet of Jesus. I think of how cumbersome it must have been to try to get him up on that roof, how difficult it must have been to remove the tiles so they could lower him down through the ceiling to the Lord, into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus (Luke 5:17-25). I think I know the desperation they must have felt, the urgency to get him there. I remember that because of the faith of the men, Jesus forgave their friend's sin, and for His glory alone, He healed that man's legs as well, told him to get up and walk.

I know this God.

And I, too, want to choose life.
And even when I have seen one too many die of this horrible, life-sucking disease we call AIDS, I want to choose to fight. And even when temptation and despair is overwhelming, I want to choose hope. And even when man's sin and depravity threaten to be all consuming, I want to choose the victory that is in Christ Jesus.

I want to choose Life.

I know the prognosis. I read the reports and the chest x-rays and the liver panel and I knew the doctor's speech before he gave it, that the antiretrovirals meant to save her life were tearing her stomach apart and that 80 pounds is just too small for a woman of five and a half feet. I know what the world says.

But she would like to live. And I know the Life-Giver.


I want to show her. I want to show her how we hope against hope, believe against all the impossible that He who died to give us life is making all things beautiful and perfect. I want to show her the One who is Life and how we know that His ways are better and higher and that He is working all things for our good, but still we can ask for a miracle; we beg for it.

I clasp her hand and I close my eyes and tonight I want to bring her into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. I tuck them all in and I hand her a glass of milk with her medicine and we watch her children's chests rise and fall with sleep on these mattresses all over the floor as hers heaves hard for each breath.

I know the Life-Giver. So tonight I lower my friend Katherine through the roof. I beg on her behalf, on the behalf of her children that she might know Him more and that for His glory alone He might heal her, call her to get up and walk.

Would you join me?








240 comments:

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Walks the Fire said...

We join you. We choose life.

Anonymous said...

Lifting this precious woman up in prayer.

erin leigh said...

Bless you, sweet Katie! Since reading your book last summer, you and your children remain on my heart and in my prayers daily. It brings me great joy to support your precious Amazima ministry.

I will include Katherine in my prayers.

Blessing from Waco, Texas!

Anonymous said...

Yes.

Anonymous said...

Yes.

Unknown said...

I believe that God has a purpose for doing this. By going through this- I pray that Katherine, her family, and the Davis family grow closer to God! He puts us through and other through suffering and despair to know His love even more and lean more on him, more and more!:) I will continuously pray for Katherine and her precious children<3 May the Lord bless and fill you with his unconditional love and undeniable strength!<3:)

Ambria said...

Thank-you for speaking truth into her life . . .
in the name of Jesus,
may He be glorified . . .

Carlos Eduardo Ballaminut said...

Dear Katie, I just knew you and your story two days ago and I cant stop crying and wishing to have this kind of experience for myself. I really would like to live, even for a few weeks all this, meeting you and your children. I wont give up trying to spend some time in your presence and in Uganda. God bless you...

Anonymous said...

Praying now.
-Heather

Missy said...

Praying...

Anonymous said...

Thank You Jesus for healing Katherine by Your stripes

Kristen said...

I will share this with my children this morning and we will add our prayers to yours. We believe in the God of miracles....

Unknown said...

Lord God in heaven, please heal and restore this dear mother. Please show her your infinite power and glory and wisdom and strength that makes all things new. We earnestly pray for your eternal purpose through her and her children to love, worship and serve you all the days of their lives.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog posts. They're so touching, so poetically beautiful. I pray everyday for you, your children, and friends. I appreciate all you do and may God bless you in all ways possible!
Remember He loves you and with Him all things are possible! <3

Anonymous said...

Praying with you.

mom2super6 said...

Jehovah Rapha, you are the healer. Touch this daughter of yours with your healing hand. Comfort her and hold her in your loving arms. Comfort her children and keep all of them from being fearful. Help them to be confident in your love. You are LOVE. Thank you for your answer.
Amen

Brenda said...

Dear Lord, You have heard our prayer, please save Katherine.

Anonymous said...

Praying in the name of Jesus.

Joanne Beasley said...

Continuing to pray for Katharine for complete healing. Any updates on her health?

Joanne Beasley said...

Continuing to pray for Katharine to be completely healed. Any updates on her health?

Joanne Beasley said...

Continuing to pray for Katharine to be completely healed. Any updates on her health?

pouredout4him said...

Katie, from a broken and imperfect "favorite" child of the Father to another, I must say thank you, not for your strength or goodness, but for surrendering to the Father's power and truth and Spirit, to yield to Him as He overcomes your weaknesses and brings GLORY to Himself! Thank you my dear sister for helping us glorify the Father by the Evidence of His power thru you. Most of all, I praise our Lord for this work. :-)

I will pray also, and pray that the Father would be glorified and seen as Holy and Love and Righteousness in all the ways these prayers are answered. I know His power will bring great good into these lives of HIS LITTLE ONES that are oh so precious in His eyes...no matter how deep or joyful the journey may be in the days to come..

Bless you and all this work done in the Father's name. His deep Love fill and overflow through you as you rely on Him..

Your brother in the fight.

Anonymous said...

He is able! Holding my corner of the sheet and agreeing with you in prayer tonight...
Andrea

Dianne said...

I will join you.

Anonymous said...

I love your book and blog, and how you are always trying to give it to God. Of course I'll pray for you.

Russell said...

We are praying for healing in our Lords will .. Let her know she has friends is S.C :)

Anonymous said...

Still praying for Katherine with all my heart!

Hugs and Blessings
Patrice

Sarah Barnett said...

Thank you for fighting. . . You are such a blessing. . .

Christine @ Oh, Dinosaur! said...

praying for you all.

Karen Deborah said...

yes is she still alive can you write her name?

Lisa B said...

I have been praying for Katherine and her children...I am so inspired by your willingness and strength as God uses you everyday for His Kingdom.

Anonymous said...

Continuing in prayer. my heart in prayer is for Katherine to be totally healed in every way. And I pray for her children. I believe Jesus as one who has been touched by Him too.

Joanie said...

I have never commented on your blog before, but I wanted you to know that you are impacting so many for the gospel. Over Christmas, I walked in my 17 year old son's room and he was reading your book. He spent a month this past summer in Ethiopia working at a medical clinic and playing with kids at an orphanage. Your book showed him that God calls all ages to the mission field.
Also, I was wondering how Katherine is doing? I have prayed for her and her precious children.

Anonymous said...

Praying for Katherine! She is loved and beautiful!

Anonymous said...

nice pic

Unknown said...

It broke me in all the places I had unknowingly let become hard--the places I thought I could keep away from Him.

Thank you for allowing Him to work through you in order to show me the reality in which I have let my heart slip.

I have just met you, here at your blog. You are brave and reflecting that which is Holy. Prayers for her, prayers for the next her, prayers for you.

His Kingdom grows because of the Him, in you.

Anonymous said...

Thank You!
Your inspiration and light
are 'home' in so many hearts
So beautiful are the shiny eyes of Believers, the smiles of the children, the hope in the world

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