Monday, July 28, 2008

Last night there was a rat in my room. I really wanted to go to the bathroom, but when I heard his little feet scratching around, I literally couldn’t move. I was paralyzed with fear. Now, I’m usually a pretty fearless person and have been told so on many occasions. Why did this little mouse scare me so? I don’t know, but it led me to think about how often, as human beings, we are crippled by our fear. We are afraid of change, of losing, of being hurt. We cling tightly to what we have because we are afraid of what might happen if we didn’t have it anymore.

I read a story once:

Once there was a people who surveyed the resources of the world and said to each other: “How can we be sure that we will have enough in hard times? We want to survive whatever happens. Let us start collecting food, materials and knowledge so that we are safe and secure if a crisis occurs.” So they started hoarding. So much and so eagerly that the other peoples protested and said: “You have so much more than you need, while we don’t have enough to survive. Give us part of your wealth!” But the fearful hoarders said: “No, no we need to keep this in case of emergency, in case things go bad for us too, in case our lives are threatened.” But the others said: “We are dying now, please give us food and materials and knowledge to survive. We can’t wait… we are dying now!”
Then the fearful hoarders became even more fearful since they became afraid that the poor and hungry people would attack them. So they said to one another: “Let us build walls around our wealth so that no stranger can take it from us.” They started erecting walls so high that they could not even see anymore whether their enemies we outside the walls or not! As their fear increased they put bombs at the top of their walls so that nobody from outside would even dare to come close. But instead of feeling safe and secure behind their armed walls they found themselves trapped in the prison they had built with their own fear. They even became afraid of their own bombs, wondering if they might harm themselves more than their enemy. And gradually they realize that their fear of death had brought them closer to it. – Henry Nouwen

“But God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-discipline.” When I imagine God creating each one of us and planting a purpose deep in our hearts, I never imagine that purpose being mediocrity. “You are to find me in the least of these.” Yes. “You are to leave your earthly possession and come follow me.” Yes. “You are to love and serve the Lord God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself” Yes. “You are to go and make disciples of all nations.” Yes. “You are to entertain strangers and leapers and tax collectors.” Yes. “You are to show mercy.” Yes. “You are to live a life of mediocrity and abundance, holding on tight to your comfortable lifestyle, lest you lose it.” No. I don’t think so. Its not there, thought that seems like the safe choice for many, including myself. Leaving your possessions to follow Jesus, entertaining strangers, it does sound a little scary, but what if just beyond that risk, just beyond the fear is a life better than anything we have ever imagined – LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

I’m not calling everyone to pack up and move to Africa, to drop everything and go be a missionary. I believe you can be a “missionary” right where you are. I’m just asking you to take a risk. Make a sacrifice. Do something today that you think you can’t afford, can’t be bothered by, don’t have time for. Stop and talk to a homeless man – if the risk is that he pulls out a knife, so be it. Play with your kids for an extra thirty minutes – if the risk is that all the work doesn’t get done, so be it. Share Christ with someone – if the risk is that they think you are strange, oh well.

Today you can choose to be like me and lay paralyzed in your bed, uncomfortably longing to go to the bathroom but unable to move because of your fear of something as small as a mouse. Or you can choose to take a risk – do something for someone, make someone smile, change someone’s world. LIFE TO THE FULLEST – it exists. The choice is yours.


Hannah said...

Hey Katie... your blog link was forwarded to me by Brandi McElheny, a blogger friend. I am the Special Projects Coordinator for Children's HopeChest, and she knows we are launching ministry in Uganda here in the next few months. I just wanted to start up a conversation to find out more of what you do there. : )

Hannah said...

Excellent post by the way. : )

saved by grace: said...

Hey Katie,
I read you blog and it really made me think about how much we live our lives out of fear. Thanks for that. So youre in Africa? I just got back from there doing missions work. I cant get in touch with you except through email so i guess go on my page and my email should be posted - but i wanted to talk to you all about your africa trip. I miss it a lot so ya let me know what youre doing over there and I will definitely be praying that God keeps His doors open for you over there!! Good Luck!! -Kelly

Anonymous said...


I've been following your inspiring story for months now, but have gone back to read previous years' posts. I love this one. My husband and I want to do something radical right here in suburban USA whie we are also supporting our global causes. The verse to not be lukewarm has come to rest in our hearts. We're asking God if He has any specific ideas right now for us in addition to the general guidance in His word. :) Praying for you!


Unknown said...

I've been reading Anything by Jennie Allen and she mentioned your blog so here I am. I'm reading from the beginning and with each posting I find myself wiping away tears and with a fire burning inside of me to do SOMETHING that pushes me to my limits. I am not in a situation where I can up and move to Africa or even to the next city but I am praying for the Lord to show me the Africa around me and to help me push past my fear and discomfort. Thank you sooooooo much for sharing your stories and perspectives with the rest of us. You are totally rocking my world in the best way ever! Praying for you and your Africa home and family!!!!!!!

Lily said...

Dear Katie,
I read this and I have got to be at the dentist at 10 or 10:30 today and I have a bad tramatick experience with the dentist when I was little. This helped me thanks.
Love Lily

Lily said...

Dear Katie,
I am 13 years old and I love your blog. I have to go to the dentist today and when I was 5 and 7 I had a tramatick experience. Now I have been afraid to go to the dentist. I have to be at the dentist for a cleaning and I am very nervous and this helped me thanks for writing about the rat. I am like that with spiders.
Love Lily