Wednesday, October 15, 2008

if my people PRAY...

most of you who have been on this journey have been able to watch me go from a little "brentwood girl" who loved shoe shopping and her yellow car, who relied on God a little but mostly on her cell phone and her money and her mommy and daddy, to a woman, all alone in a foreign land, with nothing to rely on but The Lord Almighty. you have laughed and cried with me as i have put my trust in God to do the little things like kill the bat in the shower or hold off the rain on a long walk home, and the big things like heal my dying children and provide guidance for each step i take on this path. He has provided unfailingly. sometimes in the way i expected, and sometimes in a way quite His own and so much better. it doesn't change the fact: HE HAS PROVIDED UNFAILINGLY.

oh, but i am a human, and ever so slow to learn. some days i just marvel at His patience with me. i have often wondered since re-entering the US why i feel such great culture shock. how can i feel such a disconnect with the place i was born, raised, and for 18 years called home? i have blamed it on many things. american extravagance. the grocery store that almost sends me into panic attack mode due to the sheer quantity and variety of foods. people building million dollar homes. a lack of understanding and a lack of thanksgiving on the part of all of us. the ease with which we receive medical care. the amount of STUFF that just clutters our lives.

it hit me just the other day like a rock on the head. all these things make it difficult to readjust, yes. but what has been the big shock to my system, the huge disconnect, is that i have stepped out of my reliance on God to meet my needs. if i am sick i go to the drug store or doctor. if i am hungry i go to the grocery, need to get somewhere, get in my car, need some advice or guidance, call my mom or go plop on my roommate's bed, want to feel happy, get ben or brad to make me laugh. i keep forgetting to ask God first to heal me, to fill me, to guide me, to rejoice with me. i have to set aside "time to pray" in the morning and at night instead of being in CONSTANT COMMUNICATION with Him. as i sit here writing, i am frustrated at my own stupidity, my human willingness to step back into a place i swore i detested.

for a split second this weekend, my world was shattered. my best friend in the universe, who is going to be a very successful accountant one day in the near future, asked if she could take a look at the ministry's finances, practice on them (this was a blessing to me also as sometimes i am not quite as organized as i would like to be). to say the least, she was baffled. how was this even working? out of 150 children that need to go to school, only 44 are sponsored. that means that the other kids are going to school on donations, or my savings. i still owe ugandan schools about 8,000 dollars to finish this term which will end in december, not to mention that the rent on the house is due next month. she couldn't figure out logically how this could work. if i couldn't even finish paying for this school year, how was i going to pay for 2009? if sponsorship money only covered the cost of school fees, how was i going to continue to pay my overhead? my very un-business-like answer was, "so far, we have made ends meet. the money just always comes by the end of the month." i think she wanted to laugh at me, but i love her for not doing it. she explained to me, as so many others, my very wise father included, that this was not possible. i would have to cut back. that only the 44 children who actually have sponsors will be able to continue school in 2009, the rest of the money raised will go to paying off debt we owe the other schools and then as we have savings we can expand to more children. the idea of telling 106 children that not only could they no longer go to school but also that i would not be feeding them or providing their medical care was something i couldn't even imagine. my mind raced. i held my composure until she left and then broke down in tears.

that is when God yelled at me. the rock hit me on the head. i never chose these 150 children, God gave them to me. i never planned to send them all to school, He did. its not me who is carrying all this out, it is our Lord for whom all things, ALL THINGS are possible! i could just see Him up there laughing at me. "Oh, you of little faith! ASK ANYTHING IN MY NAME AND YOU IT WILL BE GRANTED YOU!" i had become so concerned about how I was going to continue to provide for these kids that i has forgotten that it wasn't even supposed to me me who was providing! i had been so busy working to raise money, that i had forgotten to keep asking Him. i literally fell to my knees. i am not cutting back. i am not telling 106 kids that they are not going to school next year. why would i do that? look at the last year. has God ever failed to provide EXACTLY what is needed? no. why then, would i ever believe that He is not going to provide this time?! i fell to my knees. i begged for forgiveness. i promised to do better. i began fasting and praying fervently for his continued provision. since then 13 children have been sponsored, 3 new fundraising dinners have been set up. friends have rallied around me asking what they can do to help. i did nothing but pray. i am no longer fasting but i have resumed my constant communication with God. He gave me this life, why wouldn't he want to be involved in every minute of it?

i have written this long story that you may be encouraged. make a conscious effort today not to set aside "time to pray" but to live in CONSTANT PRAYER. all you have to do is ask. ask and believe that nothing is too small or too big for your Lord. HE WILL SHOW UP. just make sure you invite Him!

70,000 dollars will pay off our debt for this year and send all 150 children to school the whole of next year with money left over for food, water, electricity and medical care. i BELIEVE that God will finish this good work that He started. i KNOW that He is faithful. pray with me. KNOW with me.


for all of you out there praying for a miracle (davis family!) - keep presenting your extravagant requests to God.

MIRACLES HAPPEN.



to sponsor a child look to the right side of the blog under "blog archive" and find the July 3 post.

to donate to help us finish out this year make a check for any amount payable to Amazima Ministries and send it to Amazima Ministries International, 1694 Autumn Place, Brentwood, TN 37027.

thank you to my supportive friends, and all of you who are prayer warriors for us right now. you are instrumental in this great plan, what a blessing!

19 comments:

melissa said...

auntie katie
I will be putting 45,000 shillings in your account here for little angela starting next month.

if you need anything please call me... even if you just need to talk or cry or do a combination of both.

love love love

One Crazy Mom said...

Katie~
I read your blog in one evening last month like a novel. I love your passion for these children.

I have been raising funds through my blog, by auctioning off different handmade goods. Last month God used my blog to raise $700 for International Justice Mission. Right now I am concentrating on helping a family here in the US raise their adoption fees to bring 5 year old twins home from Jinja (Welcome Home Orphanage). When I am completed with that project I would like to help raise funds for Amazima (with your permission).

God Bless, and hopefully we can be in contact in the near future.

emily said...

Just in tears....thank you for this today, thank you for the reminder that it is all but a gift of our gracious Lord and King!! I believe, with you, that He will indeed provide for all of the needs in Uganda. I'm excited to see Him work. :)

Anonymous said...

I have been praying (and will continue to pray) for you and your ministry constantly. God will always provide, and your story of faith has given testimony to that. Thank you!!!

suzanne said...

oh sweet sister! I am so glad that you are part of my life now! I count it a blessing to be able to walk this journey with you. I CANNOT wait to stand on the other side of this and be able to give ALL the praises to our sweet Lord! He will never leave nor forsake you.

Gwen Oatsvall said...

well, i just did you a post on my blog sister ... you know i am praying and will spread the word ... i love ya girl and can't wait to see the money fall from the sky just as God already has it planned ...

See ya tonight ...

Unknown said...

Just read your blog. your brother is friends with my daughter, Lauren. My husband and son ran in your 5k last year. What a great thing you are doing for these precious children. We left Ethiopia with our son just over a month ago. The little faces we left behind are still with me as I pray for them. I totally understand how you feel with the culture shock of coming back to the US. We were only there a week so I can't even imagine what you are dealing with. The Lord has given you this heart and this task set before you for such a time as this. He will carry you through and meet all of your needs. Be blessed as you bless others.

Andrew said...

if i want to send a cheque from the uk, do i have to add anything to the address or will the one given be ok?
im praying lots

Chantelle said...

Wow! I found your blog through another blogger. I am in awe of what God is doing in your young life. I am so impressed that you are following your heart in such a big way.
Have spent a good deal of time in Africa and about 7 years ago at an orphanage in Jinja-Then calle Momma Jackie's-she soon passed away after I left.
I am adopting from Ethiopia and I can only hope that my future daughter receives the big love you so clearly show to your kids, while she waits for us.
God is good...all of the time.
Thanks for blogging about your miracles. I love reading about the woman who God used you to heal. How freakin' awesome is that???
Keep it up girl. God has big things in store for you and your work.
God Bless you in a major way!
Chantelle Becking

Andie said...

Katie...found you through Gwen's blog. Thank you for following our Father into the work He has created you for. You have accomplished more in your young life than most people do in 80+ years. May you be as blessed as the children you so dearly love. I will be praying for your ministry and for your kids.
Blessings-Andie

MaRia said...

Just luck that I came to your blog--jumped from someone's blog to someone's blog to yours. Have read as much as I could and moved by every word.
Just trying to figure out--do you go to school in US for your nursing degree during year and go back for summers?

As your recent post explained it so well... I've decided that instead of replacing my living room carpet and complaining about the stains all over, I am going to sponsor one of your children. So add another to your list. I'll send it to you in the mail today. I will rejoice that I have a home, healthy kids, and even carpet--albeit nasty :)--to walk on...

Bless you for all you do!

Maria

MaRia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tracy said...

Wow Katie! I am so moved by your story. We are coming to Ethiopia to adopt a son next summer! I am praying for you and your ministry! I will defiantly spread your story!! I teach High School girls at church that need to read this!

Mommato4miracles said...

God bless you and your children. I pray that God's grace, strength compassion and unending bounty will fall upon you and your ministry. Thanks for encouraging this truly spoiled, and often ungrateful girl to keep it real, keep it simple, and keep it with God. Thank you for giving me this much needed reminder.

Jeannie said...

Have you ever heard of goodsearch? Go to goodsearch.com you can register Amazima and people can raise money for you just by searching with goodsearch. It is a pretty neat site. It probably won't raise you much money, but over time it might do something. Every little bit helps right?

Jeremiah said...

it's a small blogging world...I don't know you but after hearing about and then reading your blog, I just wanted to say thank you for your inspiration to many, many people around the world. Your surrender to and dependence on Christ is a powerful testimony that has and will continue to impact many. thanks for the encouragement and inspiration. Blessings!

Kendra said...

Hi Katie,
I am one of your many "followers". I have read your blog many times over and I am campaigning for you and your children. I am in awe of your faith in God and how he is using you to do his work. I am so excited and so grateful to help in any way I can. Just through sending emails to everyone I know and posting your words /pictures (I hope this is ok?) on my blog I have gotten a HUGE response. My friends Jamie & Angie from Rapid City, SD have already sponsored one of your sweet children and I will find a way for my family to do it to. Please keep writing so we can all keep sharing and help you make a difference. You are Loved.
Kendra Chiolis

Scott Stephens said...

Thank you so much for your story and your faithfulness. In a perfect moment looking for answers I read your blog post tonight and was reminded as always to pray because God is in control. Phil 4:19 is truth to rely on. He says Keep going! God is really the amazing Father who seeks to hold no good thing from his children. In Africa or Brentwood. Thank you sister!

Megan said...

My name is Aliah Olson I love your blog and I pray for you. I hope that some day if God wills that I may meet you face to face and may be join you in building God's kingdom.